Updated: Jul 10
I am a first generation only child. My dad is Mexican and pretty old school and traditional. My mom is Peruvian and Chinese and has her old traditions and culture she goes by. Both of them were pretty strict with me but I must admit, being an only child but growing in a very loud, diverse family with dozens of cousins has made me more rebellious and independent.
I labeled myself as bisexual because it felt more comfortable for me to say that.
I was 11 when I knew I was interested and curious in girls. I also had my first “relationship” then and I constantly fought myself on it. I labeled myself as bisexual because it felt more comfortable for me to say that. All through high school, I hid my relationship which made it really toxic for both of us. My mom caught me one day with my girlfriend and that is how she found out, yet she didn’t believe it. At the time, my mom found it so difficult and mind you this was at least 10 years ago so being gay was nowhere where as progressive as now. She believed it was a phase and it really ruined my relationship with my mom. My dad never knew about it but I’m sure he’s had his assumptions. I was on and off dating people, both boys and girls. I tried to date boys to make my mom happy to give it a “try.” I constantly came out to my mom and told her I was never interested in guys. I could never get there emotionally and I always repeated that I don’t think it (dating guys) was going to happen. She told me to hide it from my dad because she thought he would leave us for being gay and I could not handle upsetting my mom like that. My dad is amazing but just grew up in a different generation and was taught differently. I always had resentment with my parents because I felt like a disappointment for being myself.
It really wasn’t until my relationship with Kirstie that my mom accepted who I was and respected who I was with. My mom was definitely hesitant when I left my job to travel the world with Kirstie but my mom knew I was happy (the pictures helped). I think traveling and taking pictures showed her that we were okay and helped her accept me and our relationship. While we were away, my dad always saw our pictures even when we tried to block him from seeing it. One random day while I was traveling, my mom called me and started having our usual conversation. I was in Borneo, Malaysia and we were staying in the jungle watching proboscis monkeys swing around on the trees. She says,”That’s amazing. I’m happy for you baby. I was talking to your dad and he told me that he’s happy you’re with Kirstie and even if you don’t have grandkids, he’s happy that you’re happy.” This is a HUGE step because I’ve never ever talked about my relationships or Kirstie. My parents don’t really know anything about adoption or IVF when it comes to being a lesbian but this is all part of the learning process. When I got home, it was a mutual understanding who Kirstie was and how important she is to me and she will forever be in my life.